Scandalous Adventures: Be In Violet LeVoit's Dream Party
Hey. My name is Tiffany Scandal and I am a good-for-nothing broad.
Last night, I was invited to partake in a dream party hosted by an author I really admire: Violet LeVoit. Dream party? Yeah, you read that correctly.
So first, LeVoit is the author of I Am Genghis Cum, a pretty fantastic collection of stories dealing with some pretty intense body horror (disgruntled/desperate mothers having their babies turned into handbags . . . and it's a cool trend? Hell yeah!). She is also the author of the forthcoming I'll Fuck Anything That Moves And Stephen Hawking. In short, she is fucking fantastic.
Last night, she hosted the second annual "Be In Violet's Dream Party." The rules were simple, the host, before falling asleep will think about all of their friends and the fun that they will have. The guests, before falling asleep, have to snuggle with the intentions of being in LeVoit's dream. I had never done anything like this before, so I shrugged my shoulders and thought "why not?" I put on my Stay Puft pjs, chugged a glass of water to compensate for all of the coffee I consumed that day, and said, "I will be in Violet's dream" before turning off the light and closing my eyes.
Shit got weird. First, I was traveling in a car to get to an event. It was dark, and I think I was in some small town in Washington. Overweight rednecks with missing teeth were protesting inside of a Walgreens (where I stopped to get some snacks for the road), saying shit like how we need to keep food American. Racist signs were getting plastered on walls, and I remember feeling so angry, that I walked by and ripped down every sign they taped up and walked out the store. The car was missing, so I'm wandering the streets of this dark town and realize that I'm being followed/stalked by weapon carrying townspeople.
At this point, my boyfriend and my cat wake me up. Forming a spooning centipede, I close my eyes and think, "Violet's dream now, please."
Everything is bright, I show up at what I think is a hotel. A woman dressed in fur and pearls is arguing with the desk about her status and seemed unable to wrap her head around her denied access. I had a suitcase in hand, looked to the desk, and got the smile and nod to proceed to the gated area where a security code was needed to enter. The guard at the gate smiles, enters the code, and I board onto the escalator that scales up toward the ceiling of an unfinished building. Blue sky with white puffy clouds hovering above everything. This was to be the largest mall in the world, and people could live there. I was lost. Wandering with my suitcase and not sure where I was headed. I get to the top floor and find out that a roller coaster and travels through water takes people to their rooms. How any of that makes sense, I have no fucking clue. But I was at the top floor of this mall, facing a roller coaster that came through the bottom of a pool. The roller coaster was stuck, and people were being told they had to dive into the pool and go through the opening at the bottom to access rooms. So I dove. As soon as I jumped in, I found myself standing in what looked like an airport terminal. I looked up and saw that the pool was an illusion. A thin film that looked liked water hovered above me. The roller coster, filled with smiling faces and dangling legs, to my left. Weird.
I'm supposed to be getting to this party. The door at the end of the walkway looks promising.
It led me into a dark school. A few people are gathered around a desk. A single lamp is lighting the room. A man walks over to me, adjusts his glasses and whispers, "don't go outside." Curious, he leads me to the window. We're on the third level of a boring brown building with windows forming horizontal stripes. Ground level, there was massive battle going on. Claymation deadites and people fighting to the death. Clay blood geysering everywhere. It basically looked like this video:
except imagine a large battlefield, and people instead of cats. And. AND. Violet LeVoit leading the army against the deadites. From the third story, I saw her running, chainsaw held high, toward the large clay face bulging out of a pool. What a badass. I wanted to be down there. I wanted to fight by LeVoit's side. But got distracted the cafeteria where I found a tray full of pancake strips. Mmmm. Pancake strips.
Overall, this was a pretty fun exercise. Checking in on the facebook event page, it didn't look like my dream matched up with anyone else's, but the common consensus was that we all dreamt of large crowds in one way or another and recognized maybe only a handful of people. In my case, LeVoit was the only familiar face in my dreams.
This would be something that I would be open to trying again, but maybe with a small group.
Alright. Now to drink more coffee and watch the crazy wind fuck shit up outside.
Keep it creepy.